


off key

by dogbuns



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic Character, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, Sea Grunks, pre journal 3- incase there might be anything related there i wouldnt know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:29:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dogbuns/pseuds/dogbuns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Stans encounter a small colony of sirens during their travels. Ford thinks he could get away from the whole thing scotch-free.</p><p>He couldn't have been more wrong.</p>
            </blockquote>





	off key

**Author's Note:**

> based on that one idea of sirens being able to attract people with desires other than lust
> 
> i know there's already a good fic on the stans and sirens (and maybe many more, i dont know) but i wanted to play with the idea myself and see where it goes

The sky above was dark and void of any light. It was near midnight, but neither the stars nor the moon came into view. What little lights the small fishing boat was equipped with only cast a faint glow over the pitch black sea that surrounded it. There was barely anything to see for miles around, nothing but icy cold sea that looked eerie under the light. No sound to hear but the choppy waves crashing on the boat's hull.

Stan gripped the lamp a little tighter. Jesus, this place creeped the hell out of him. If he didn't know any better, the Stan O' War might as well have been sailing through a void. And in any moment, some lovecraftian anomaly could pop out of nowhere and end them right there and then. He had no way of knowing.

He swallowed and tried to remind himself why he was doing this. Ford had barely gotten any sleep the past week. Something about them treading into dangerous waters where the Weirdness oddly spiked up. Stan insisted that he'd take the watch at least for a night, Ford was no good weirdhunting when he was sleep deprived and hopped up on twelve cups of coffee. Besides, he'd told his twin, with his left hook ready at all times no monster would dare come within 200 miles of the boat. Maybe Ford believed that, maybe he didn't, but either way he trusted him and said goodnight with an uneasy chuckle.

So far nothing had come up yet, though, so maybe there really wasn't anything to worry about. The past few days have been pleasantly uneventful-- the biggest inconvenience being only a tangled net and buggy Skype calls-- so maybe nothing could go wrong tonight-

Stan's upbeat internal monologue was cut off by the sound of an unusually loud splash up ahead.  _Spoke too soon,_ he thought. He picked up a second lamp and squinted at the direction of the noise. There was still nothing but inky black waves bobbing around for miles. He picked at his ears. Maybe he was getting too old?

Another splash. That one was  _definitely_ there. Stan stomped his foot on the deck, hoping Ford could hear his distress from their quarters below. He couldn't afford to run down and call for Ford himself. He stomped his foot around nervously, keeping his eyes glued on the horizon. He was about to call it quits when he saw something move under the light of the lamp.

It only appeared for a second, but it was enough to send shivers down Stan's spine. It looked like someone was  _swimming_ through the water. Which should've been impossible, the sea was sub zero at this point. 

Stan held his breath and waited for the inevitable, for some giant monster to shoot out of the ocean and devour him--

And he was met with the most pleasant surprise of his life. 

The lamps clattered to the ground as Stan's knees nearly crumpled. He leaned on the railing as if his life depended on it.

Somewhere in the distance, Stan could hear a sweet, enchanting melody. It gave him a warm feeling in his chest that made his heart flutter. He closed his eyes and took in the beautiful voice, let it engulf him and push any other thoughts away. The only thing that mattered now was the song in his ears and the soft smile it brought to his face.

Something was off about it, though. The voice felt all-too familiar to him, but he couldn't place it. And maybe a few warning bells went off because he felt the strong urge to go towards it. Not that it mattered, it made him feel at peace. 

So at peace that he didn't notice Ford running up the stairs in panic, a harpoon gripped tight in his hands. He didn't hear Ford's frantic yelling, didn't feel him shaking his shoulders and pointing at the distance. It was only when Ford finally cupped his six-fingered hands around Stan's ears that he finally turned to face him.

The melody turned harsher now, as if whoever was singing had just been ticked off. Stan tried to peel Ford's hands away from his ears, but Ford had a grip like steel. Ford was yelling something, but with his ears blocked out everything sounded muffled to Stan. Ford leaned in closer to him and raised his voice.

"-un! You h.... go downsta.... Leave me.....can handle mys.... I'm not affe..."

Stan heard just enough and shook his head wildly. Go down and leave Ford with all the sweet tunes? No way. He tried again to pry Ford's hands off him, but they wouldn't budge. 

He grunted and turned his attention back to the voice. He could barely make it out now, but maybe he could find the culprit? Stan squinted as he made out a vague shadow in the distance. Two white, unblinking eyes stared back at him. He kicked the lamp on the ground closer to get a better view of the figure. The light fell on it, just bright enough to make its features out and make Stan nearly throw up.

The creature that stared back at him was the furthest thing from beautiful and sweet like he thought it'd be. Several rows of teeth jutted out across its face, all irregular in size and sharpened like knives. Long, stringy black hair was draped around its skeleton like body. Shiny gills akin to wounds lay around its neck and ribcage. Tattered, sharklike finns adorned its head and wrists, and on the tips of its--fingers?-- there were long, curled claws that looked like razorblades. It licked its blood stained teeth and glared at Stan with hunger.

He choked and saw several other creatures just like it swimming around the rock it sat on, all sneaking peeks at the twins like they'd made up their minds for dinner. Forget the sweet voice that sounded like a babe, forget the warm fuzzy feelings, they needed to get out of here  _now._

Stan tried to grab at Ford's hands again when they fell from his face. Panic seized him as he realized Ford hadn't been covering his own ears, he'd been listening and staring at the creatures this whole time and was now walking towards the railings. Stan frantically grabbed at his hoodie and tried to drag him away, but Ford fought back with wild fury, kicking and screaming and nearly sending himself flying off the rail.

 _That's it, I've had it,_ Stan thought, picking up the harpoon gun and immediately aiming it at the creatures. He almost fired when he looked it in the eye again and froze.

Staring right back at him, sitting on the rocks stunning as ever, was his ex-girlfriend. Carla. She looked like she hadn't aged a day since they broke up. Her voice filled Stan's ears again, singing replaced with a soft spoken voice that sent a pang through his chest.

"C'mon now, Stanley," it cooed. "You know I don't like it when you're all angry like that."

"Shut up," he growled. "S-Stop talkin' like her! I know you're not her!"

"Baby, please," it replied. "I'm sorry for leavin' ya. I just want us to be together again. Gimme another chance."

His grip on the harpoon faltered a bit. Damn, this thing was too good. It knew every word he'd been aching to hear for years.

"Babycakes, I want this as much as you," it continued. "Please, just come over here and we can be together again. We'll lie under the stars and cuddle and fall asleep in each other's arms, just like we used to."

Like they  _used_ to.

"Time to move on, Carla."

He snarled and fired the harpoon straight at it, piercing it straight through the chest. He grinned as he watched it drop dead and fall into the inky water below, the illusion of Carla shattering. It messed him up, leaving a sick feeling in his stomach seeing her face scrunch up in horror as he fired, but he couldn't think about that now. 

The other sirens hissed and climbed onto the rocks, their fangs bared in anger. Stan's breath hitched as another one began to shimmer into Carla again. He forced himself to look away and focus on getting him and Ford out of there--

Shit. Ford. He'd forgotten that he was up on deck with him. 

Stan turned to him just in time to see him climbing up over the railing. Stan lunged, wrapping his arms around his waist and pulling him back onto the deck. They landed in a heap on the floor, Stan keeping his arms locked tight as Ford punched and kicked and cried. He was sobbing now, Stan could see tears flooding down his face as he wailed.

"Ford, snap out of it!" Stan pleaded. "We gotta get outta here!"

"N-No!!" Ford cried. "Let me go, let me go! I need to  _go!_ "

"Sixer, whatever babe is calling you down there ain't worth it! We're gonna die!"

"No! I need this, let me go, please," he sobbed. "Stan, let me go!!"

"Poindexter, look at me!" Stan gripped Ford's head and turned him around, covering his ears like he did earlier. "Whoever you see, it's not real! I can't let you die to make out with a hottie!"

"Let me go," he whimpered. "I have to go, I need this, I can't be just a freak anymore, I just can't."

"Can't wha--?" Stan's grip loosened a bit in surprise, and Ford took that small slip up to kick Stan away and bolt towards the rail. Stan couldn't reach him in time, couldn't hold him back before he jumped over and dove straight into the water below.

Stan nearly jumped in after him out of impulse, then reeled back when he felt the icy cold water spray his face. No need for both of them to freeze to death. He ran back and quickly tossed himself and a rubber boat into the sea, hastily throwing a lifejacket over his head. He paddled furiously to keep up with his brother. 

Luckily Ford was as bad a swimmer as Stan was a paddler in this ocean, because he made it to the rocks with the creatures just as Ford did. Ford clambered upwards and reached his arm out to the creatures. Several of them leaned in close, their long claws curling around him, ready to drag him under.

Before they could make a move, Stan charged and socked one right in the face. It stumbled backwards and sent itself and two others tumbling into the water. Ford screamed as Stan pummeled his fist into another, and then another. The old scientist sank to his knees and cried into his hands as Stan fought off the rest of the creatures.

It wasn't much, just a small colony clearly inexperienced with people actually fighting back. Most of them were still in shock and couldn't retaliate. He caught snippets of their garbled coversation as he fought on.

"Didn't work?"

"Usually does."

"Maybe he is like this one. No lust."

"Not true, he fell for the trick of *@&$%."

"The other could not."

"Try now."

Stan fought on harder, angry that he couldn't make sense of what they were saying. The faster he could get them to shut up, the better. They constantly changed forms, shifting into lots of different attractive babes, but Stan couldn't focus on that. They were trying to kill his brother. That's all that mattered.

He raged on until he finally whittled them down to the last two, but hesitated at the last second. The creatures shimmered again, their newest forms making Stan stumble back in shock.

"Grunkle Stan?" Dipper said. "Grunkle Stan, it's you!"

"We missed you so much!" Mabel cried out. "It's been so long!"

Stan's head spun. He felt the adrenaline slip away and melt into terror.  _This isn't real,_ he repeated to himself, over and over.

"Grunkle Stan, what's wrong? Do you need our help?"

"Maybe he's been gone too long without one of my signature Mabel hugs! Whaddya think, Dipdop?"

He should run, he knew, but he was frozen in place. His fists were curled uselessly at his sides, he'd never find the guts to use them now. The creatures looked too much like them, sounded too much like them. 

"I guess that'd do the trick, it always gets a smile outta the old geezer."

"Darn right it'll work! C'mere, Grunkle Stan!"

"C'mon, don't be shy, we love you!"

"You're our hero!"

He couldn't turn his gaze away as the twins ran towards him, arms outstretched and their faces beaming. It felt so real, he wanted it so bad. He sank to his knees, arms hanging limply at his sides. Helplessly watching as Dipper and Mabel threw themselves towards him. Watching as they screamed and recoiled, their illusions faltering as the beam of a lasergun pierced through their chests. The creatures crumpled and slipped down the rocks into the icy water below.

Stan looked up to see Ford drop his smoking gun, his hands shaking wildly. He buried his face in his hands again, his shoulders shuddering but from the cold water or the trauma Stan couldn't tell. Stan managed to collect himself and walk over to Ford, guiding him back to the rubber lifeboat and back to the Stan O' War.

They said nothing as they changed out of their dripping clothes and gathered in the study, Ford too shaken from the whole ordeal and Stan not wanting to push him. He shoved more wood into the fireplace and wrapped a thick blanket around them. Ford lay his head on Stan's shoulder, teeth still chattering after plunging through the ice cold ocean. Stan wrapped one arm around his shoulder and held a hot cup of coffee in the other. They sat like that for a while until Ford finally found the energy to talk.

"S-Sirens," he mumbled.

"What?"

"Sirens," he repeated, a little louder this time. "Old legends say they used to lure sailors into the sea disguised as beautiful women."

Stan grunted. He remembered the whole ordeal with Carla, the frantic shifting into more pretty people as he fought them off.

"Turns out they can do more than just babes, huh."

Ford sunk his face deeper into Stan's shoulder. "I thought... Well, I didn't think they could."

Stan made a small questioning noise. Ford stayed silent for a bit, not sure of what to say.

"I never..." he said. "I've never really, well, got into the whole romance thing, you know?" He paused and waited for Stan to question him. Stan said nothing, as if he'd already known it for a while. 

"So I thought, maybe I could fight them off myself since they couldn't, ah,  _seduce_ me as I thought they would. Turns out they figured me out pretty fast."

Stan nodded. "Yeah, turned the tables on me too once they figured the whole babe thing wasn't workin' out."

"Pardon?"

"Dipper and Mabel," Stan shivered a bit as he said it. "Last two ones I couldn't left hook. Ones you shot."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Thanks for saving me back there."

"Ditto."

They sat in silence a little longer, listening to the soft crackle of the fireplace. Ford was shivering a lot less now, but Stan still pulled him in closer. He could only take so many near-death experiences of his brother in one lifetime. It did make him curious to know what convinced Ford to dive in, though.

"Hey, Sixer?"

"Mm?"

"You said, uh, babes don't work on you, so back there...?"

Ford bit his lip. It was something he was ashamed to say, but for someone who'd just saved his life (again), he deserved to know. Stan would understand.

"It was... A lot of different people. At first it was the guys from West Coast, saying they'd finally accept me. Then it was a brilliant committee of scientists, ready to recognize me for my brilliance, telling me they'd see past my... Anomaly." It sounded worse now that he'd said it out loud, but thankfully Stan didn't mock him for it. 

"After they figured it didn't work, they tried Fiddleford. Old, sane Fiddleford, telling me that he'd never make fun of me the way everyone else did." He bit his lip. "Telling me that I'd never ruined his  _entire life_ and--" Ford paused, pinching the bridge of his nose. Suddenly he found it a little hard to breathe.

"Ford," Stan cut in, "you don't hafta go on if you don't wanna." Ford shook his head.

"Then they tried you. God, they tried  _you_ , Stan, and I fell for it even when you were right there. They invited me to a reality where I never let dad kick you out, I never screwed the world over with Bill and I- I didn't have to erase...." He couldn't finish his sentence, his words choked into a sob. Stan ran his hand up and down his shoulder.

"Hey, Poindexter, cheer up, it's over now, okay?"

He only sobbed harder, the ache in his chest burning even deeper. Stan felt his tears dampening his shirt, but didn't mention it.

"Ford, you gotta... You gotta learn to move past that."

Ford said nothing.

"Look, I know a thing or two about makin' mistakes. Okay, maybe a lot." Stan chuckled darkly. "But that means I know keepin' them boilin' inside you is gonna make it worse. You... You can't change the past." He thought back to what Ford had told him when he regained his ugly memories. How Ford insisted he was a hero no matter how much he didn't feel like it.

"What matters now is that you're sorry for it, and you're ready to make up in the future. And... I think you've already done that." He tousled Ford's hair a bit, managing to get a small laugh out of him.

"How dare you use my own words against me," he chuckled, wiping his tears on the blanket.

"Hey, now you know how good they were, huh?"

They laughed and teased each other a for a bit, taking sips from their now cold coffee cups. The fire died down a bit now, but the two barely noticed. 

"Hey, the sun's rising now," Ford said. "It's about time for our call with the kids."

"Heck, we didn't get to sleep a wink."

"That's fine, I'm sure they won't mind."

"You kidding me, Poindexter? You look like a zombie straight outta one of your nerdy sci fi films!"

"Come on, Stanley, I know you're  _dying_ to see those kids again."

"Shut up," he laughed, wrapping an arm around Ford's shoulder as they made their way back upstairs.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this is the fic mentioned at the starting notes, it's a good read => http://archiveofourown.org/works/7612489
> 
> also i made this acc for adventure time fics and im sorry that doesnt......seem to be happening right now lmao but theyll be comin once its off the goddamn hiatus hopefully
> 
> catch me bein over the stans when im dead


End file.
